It all started 6 months ago, a conversation that threatened my comfort zone like a tiger ready to pounce.
The words, “I think we should move to Atlanta.”
My initial feeling was anger, confusion, and although I’d like to say a little bit annoyed, it was a lotta bit. I thought about the years in our home with the kids, the memories made, our church, the established schools, doctors, gyms, friends. Oh, the friends. The visions I had of our next move being our forever home. The one our kids would grow up in. The house Ben and I would grow old in. The familiarity of it all, the scenario I had played out in my head, the expectations I had built, torn away in one sentence.
“I think we should move to Atlanta.” The dreaded words that shook me to my core. The dreaded words that were spoken by my husband in hope caused strife and fear in me, his wife.
You can imagine how this played out for the next 6 months. A lot of arguments, frustrations, and separation of hearts as one went towards Atlanta and growth for our family and one stuck in the familiar, in comfort zone. For someone who teaches all day about stepping out of your comfort zone, I was stuck in mine, grasping for normalcy, a changed mind by my husband to say, “You’re right, honey, let’s stay here.” I didn’t get that, but what I did get was an eventual open heart as I prayed and asked God, “Is this right for us?” What I got back felt like the most gentle slap in the face.
“Do you trust me?”
“Do you trust your husband?”
… ouch. Yes, yes I do. And no, no I don’t want something that could be what God wants for us to be thwarted by my stubbornness.
The moment I viewed the conversation as something that could be God ordained and not a threat was the moment everything changed. The moment I viewed it through a lens of trust and not doubt, it shifted. The moment I put down my expectations, my ideas that were so deeply embedded and handed them over to God, the peace came.
He knows what’s best for me. For my family. I also have to trust that my husband does. This is hard for someone who has spent the majority of her life independent, but that’s for a different post and God is continuing to work on me.
God continues to show me that the tighter I grasp onto things, the less I trust Him and His will for my life. I can squeeze the life out of new adventures and seasons holding onto my false ideas of the “right way”. I can cause strife in my marriage when I’m not open to a discussion regarding change. Change is not bad. No, change is good, and when we can learn to let go and trust the process and the people, change can be pretty exciting.
So, here’s to the next adventure as the Inman’s take Atlanta. A season of going where God leads and following what He says on a deeper level. To trusting the process and knowing that He always keeps His promises. A season of growth, abundance, unity, clarity, and joy.
A recurring choice we make to tame the pouncing tiger of fear daily and being open to new beginnings.
Sometimes what we view initially as disruptions can actually be the catalyst to the growth God intends for our lives.
The best is yet to come and God continues to work on our hearts to realize and understand that it’s not always that WE know what’s best, but HE does … and we can have peace in the knowing.